scared of the notebook

notebookso a few years ago, i discovered that moments of inspiration can be fleeting. and that relying on memory to recollect them, is like trying to re-imagine dreams. impossible. at least with dreams, some come back to visit as deja-vu..

i decided to accept the fact that a notebook is a must. i can’t quite recall how many i have gone through. how many are filled with ideas. words. other people’s stuff. flyers, i pick up at events. at people’s offices. at interesting places. etc. etc. often, i make an appointment with myself. open a notebook, write that day’s date. try to write the things that are swirling in my head. a mix of words to be picked up later. a to-do list (almost always!).

what i have noticed lately is that, as per normal, i always have a notebook in my handbag. a great feat for me – i struggle with consistency. however, my biggest bug bear now, is that i am often scared to open my notebook and follow up on words i have written down, ideas that i have sketched roughly, instead it is bulging with bits of paper.

of course this has me wondering why… i can only guess that maybe, i am somehow afraid. afraid to bring most of these ideas to life. scared of the commitment they will require in order for them to come alive. scared of how much i have to give of me in order to give birth to them.

so what am i to do with this notebook? what will i become without it? doodles

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7 thoughts on “scared of the notebook

    • I have a monthly writing critique group that give me something to look towards and a built in audience. That helps A LOT.

      My problem is plotting. I’m pretty good with writing short fiction but just can’t seem to sustain a novel because I just can’t write an outline.

      I feel like if I could collaborate on a novel, write from someone else’s loose plan, I’d be pretty successful ala Terry Pratchett/Neil Gaiman. 🙂

      • mmm… a built-in audience? all that pressure… i am definitely with you… my attention span is way to short to sustain writing a WHOLE novel, let alone actually planning it out beforehand… well, we could spend some time working on a loose plan together if you are keen…

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